Someone (alright already, it was Laurie Colwin) once said that real men don’t eat bitter greens. By now I think we’ve all heard that real men don’t eat quiche, but bitter greens is a new one to me. I hadn’t any previous evidence for or against this statement, so to test this theory I invited self-described “real man” Zeljko (seen here in the mirror looking frighteningly like Balki Bartokomous) to dinner. He was quite enthusiastic about the dish, twirling the spaghetti directly into his mouth with gusto and panache.

When I asked him how he liked the bitter greens he said, “These? They’re not so bitter.” But he also admitted that most guys who call themselves “real men” probably wouldn’t consider him to be included in that category. Back to square one.

Please let me know your own findings on this matter. If correct, this premise could make an excellent dating barometer and I’m telling you straight, gentle readers, that a dating barometer in Brooklyn is handier than a big stick in Mypos.
A big stick to herd sheep, see?

From my point of view, anyway, hearty bitter greens are a perfect mid-winter pick-me-up when springy green freshness is still a few inches below ground. And these velvety astringent greens are a perfect polygamous marriage with a toothsome pasta, sweet chewy raisins, and toasted pine nuts. Real or fake, most men are sure to be pleased by this cravable dish. And if you sense hesitancy, reference Popeye and his whole spinach/man thing, and note the splooshes of wine. That’ll have ‘em doing the Dance of Joy.

Hat tip to Nex0s for the recipe idea!

Serves: 2
Time: 20 minutes

Spaghetti with Bitter Greens, Pine Nuts and Golden Raisins

½ pound of spaghetti
2/3 cup of golden raisins
olive oil
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1/2 cup pine nuts
1 head of bitter greens like escarole, chard, chicory. I used escarole.
¼ cup of white wine
salt, pepper, more olive oil to taste
parmesan cheese, optional

Put a big pot of salted water on to boil for the spaghetti and put the golden raisins in a bowl of hot water to soak for a while to plump up.

While the water is heating and raisins are plumping, add a few tablespoons of olive oil to a skillet and with the heat on medium sauté the pine nuts for about 3 minutes. Add the garlic and sauté together with the pine nuts until everything is golden brown – less than 10 minutes. Be careful not to burn the garlic or pine nuts.

Wash the greens thoroughly, cut off any stemy bits and chop the leaves into halves or thirds.

Add the prepared greens to the sauté pan and cook. Drain the raisins and add those too. At the same time the greens start cooking you can add the spaghetti to the boiling water and cook for about 7 minutes or until done but with some bite left to it.

Once the escarole has wilted add the white wine and a generous amount of salt and pepper.

Drain the pasta well and toss with the greens mixture. Adjust the seasonings and add another pour of olive oil, of desired.

Serve with a dish of grated parmesan cheese, if you’d like.

A big kiss and hearty thank you to my oldest sister, The EnvironmentalSis, for these awesome plates.  So cool!

Happy almost 2007, gentle readers!

I’ll end the old year bluntly: I used to not like chili.
I found it to be a sour, greasy mess with meaty and beany surprises not unlike the Bear Stew described in “Sign of the Beaver,” which, if I remember correctly, put the protagonist in some sort of Bear Fat Trance after a long day of wrestling bear-greased natives.

I digress. Chili, you see, is my familys Traditional Christmas Eve dish. Except for a few years during The Great Oyster Stew Schism we always served chili on Christmas Eve and I was used to be quite unhappy about this.

But that was in the past. Now I like chili. In fact, I L-O-V-E chili. I may just try to push chili marriage through to legislation. I think it’s because vegetarian chili is just better - the tomatoes, beans and spices mingle in a delicious way that meat seems to detract from. Chili may very well be the first thing I’d suggest if you’ve got a vegetarian coming over for dinner and you don’t know what to make. Trust me, s/he’ll like it.

Now this particular recipe comes from my new brother-in-law Ken. I’ll try to say this gently, because I know there are lot of fellow New Yorkers who read my blog: Ken is Republican. He’s a beer-and-barbecue man and I’m happy to report that he really liked the Jesus Action Figure I got him for Christmas (he send me a thank-you email.) However, he’s also just plain nice, thoughtful and very very good to his many new sisters-in-law so he’s made this veggie chili a few times to impress us and I’m pleased to report that it worked. It’s not the most authentic chili you’ll find, but hey, Ken is from Delaware. That’s actually a state. Delaware. Look it up.

My family served this chili with salsa, grated cheese, sour cream, and Fritos on Christmas Eve because it’s a casual sorta evening for us, but you could also top it with tomatillos, red onions, peppers, cilantro, avocado and any sort of tortilla/chip/cornbread and serve it to unsuspecting fancypantses. I feel a little hesitant giving my health-conscious readers a recipe with all packaged ingredients, but sometimes in the dead of winter it’s a pain to get fresh produce. And I figure it’s still probably healthier than eating out somewhere. And at the very least you could keep these ingredients in the Emergency Preparedness Kit I know you all have so you can whip up an excellent pot of chili on any occasion.

Thanks for the recipe Ken, and welcome to the family.

Serves: 6
Time: 1.5 hours

Ken’s Easy Chili Taco Soup

1 can of corn
1 can of red kidney beans*
1 can of pinto beans*
1 can of black beans*
1 can hominy*
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 can of Rotel
1 package of chili taco seasoning
1 package of buttermilk ranch dressing ranch dressing mix

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A wise man (or was it the Beach Boys?) once said, “Christmas comes this time each year.” The holiday season is upon us, the air is cold and Fifth Avenue is chockablock with holiday shoppers filling their noses with the usual Fifth Avenue scent of burning hotdogs.

Also making guest appearances in December: my fuzzy slippers, the winter triangle, Macy’s advertisements, fat squirrels, and pink cheeks. And there’s something about December’s wintery weekends that makes me want to swandive back under my covers and not come out until someone puts a hot bowl of something under my nose.

Well, I got a little hungry and couldn’t wait for someone else to make a bowl of something so I decided on this tagine that’s rich, flavorful, filling and healthy to boot. So much in fact that I’m contributing it to Sweetnick’s Antioxidant Rich Foods (ARFs) Tuesdays, which I’ve long been aware of but painfully lax in submitting too, even though most vanesscipes are brimming with antioxidant goodness.

This recipe is based on a traditional lamb and green olive tagine, but without the lamb of course. You can serve it to your own little lamb, whole flock, gaggle of Beach Boys or whoever.

Serves: 6
Time: 1 hour

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I was at a party the other night, making merry and chatting about moonlighting as a vegetarian virtuoso (or, at the least, a well-practiced devotee of the art of vegetarian cooking) when I was asked a question that so often follows up my veggie cooking admission: “What sort of cuisine do you specialize in?”

This question never fails to unnerve me as vegetarian cooking is a cuisine onto itself. Vegetarianism gives one free reign, in my humble opinion, to pillage and de-carnivorize recipes of every region, cuisine, homeland, backwoods, and entomology. It’s a very open, forgiving, humanistic (except for the pillaging part) libertarian sort of cuisine.

Every country can boast at least one traditional vegetarian dish, even if it’s a more carnivorous cuisine: hummus, pirogi, ratatouille, dal, pilau, chile rellenos, doubles, gado-gado, dolmas, and borscht to name a few. Many more vegetarian dishes can be extrapolated from traditional recipes by just omitting or replacing the meat.

Pasta e Fagioli is a traditional Italian dish that has been in my memory since childhood. Not because I remember eating it, but because I remember reading about it in an Italian cookbook by the actor Dom DeLuise. (aside: why do actors make such darned good cookbook writers? Madhur Jaffrey anyone?) Anyway, not only is this is excellent and traditionally vegetarian Brooklyn-Italian dish, it furthermore helps elucidate the haunting lyrics of Dean Martin’s “That’s Amore:”
When the stars make you drool joost-a like pasta fazool

serves: 8 (makes great leftovers!)
time: 1 hour 20 minutes, or 40 minutes if using canned beans

Pasta e Fagioli

1 yellow onion, diced
5 cloves of garlic,minced
3 stalks of celery, sliced
2 carrots, diced
olive oil
5 cups of veggie stock
1 1/2 cups of red wine
1 very large (35 oz) can of tomatoes
1 tsp oregano
1 1/2 tsp rosemary
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1 (16 oz) bag of dried kidney beans or 3 cans of canned kidney beans*
2 cups elbow macaroni
sploosh of balsamic vinegar
salt, pepper
red pepper flakes
Parmesan cheese, optional

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I cooked up a big batch of this soup to feed a large & hungry group of sisters and artistes. It was very well received, not only for dinner, but scarfed down for breakfast the next day.

What’s the secret? Love. It’s the best spice.

As I mentioned in my Khichri post, I recently went to an Indian Ayurvediic Cooking Class at the Natural Gourmet Institute. I learned many things that night, but foremost amongst them is the concept that one must cook with love and intention. This concept has been knocking around on the edge of my brain for a while now, I just wasn’t sure how to put it. People claim that they can’t cook or are afraid of messing up and dear oh dear what should they do. My retort is: you just have to want to, don’t think too hard about it, and you’ll be fine. Nalini Mehta, my Ayurvedic instructor, used the wonderful phrase, “food knows when you’re nervous” and I agree. It tastes better if you just trust it’s going to taste better.

Give this Kadhi a try: gather your friends and sisters, want and intend to create something delicious, don’t worry if you don’t have some of the spices, (actually, don’t worry at all), get started, keep going, all of a sudden stop and enjoy your wonderful soup.

Serves: 4 as a main, 6 as a side
Time: 30 minutes

Kadhi, adapted from Nalini Mehta instructor at the Natural Gourmet Institute

Olive oil or ghee (clarified butter)
4 cloves
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp black mustard seeds
½ tsp fenugreek seeds, optional
dash asafetida, optional
½ tsp cayenne pepper
1 inch ginger, minced
2 green chilies, minced
4 cups yogurt
1 cup water
2 Tbsp chickpea flour (besan)
fresh cilantro, chopped, for a garnish

Heat a little oil or ghee in a pot and toss in the dried spices: cloves, cumin seeds, mustard seeds, and fenugreek seeds. Stir the seeds until they are a few shades darker and start to pop. Now add the powdered spices: asafetida and cayenne pepper. Stir for a second and immediately pour in the yogurt and water.

In a small bowl, whisk a little of the yogurt soup into the chickpea flour and blend until there are no more lumps. Add the flour mix to the soup pot and combine well.

Taste for salt and serve with a little cilantro sprinkled over. See? That wasn’t so hard.

Perfect with pita bread and a tomato, cucumber, and chick pea salad. Or, try it over Khichri like gravy over mashed potatoes.