This is less of a recipe and more a tale of food algebra and perfectionism.

Follow along:

Summer = BBQs
BBQs = Hot Dogs
I hail from Chicagoland and in Chicagoland, Hot Dogs = Chicago-style Hot Dogs
Since I’m vegetarian, Hot Dogs = Veggie Dogs

∴ since it’s summer, I want a Chicago-style veggie dog.

Or something like that!

The Chicago-style Hot Dog differs from pretty much every other kind of dog in that it is very, very specific in regards to toppings and topping order. For instance, unless you want to be kicked in the behind by a crazed Bear’s fan, you DO NOT put ketchup on your Chicago-style Hot Dog. If you need more Chicago-style info, this fantastic site hotdogchicagostyle.com will set you straight.

What I’ve learned in this endeavor is that three very important Chicago-style ingredients are all but unavailable in New York City. After hunting two Boroughs, four neighborhoods and nine different stores, the Li’l Sis and I were unable to procure poppy-seed buns, sport peppers, and ultra-green sweet relish. (Vanessa’s note: I’m thankful that no neon-green relish is for sale in my borough.)

So what I’ve invented here is something I like to call: The Brooklyn-Made Chicago-style Veggie Dog. Probably culinary blasphemy to many, many people, but I’d just like to think of myself as a veggie pioneer.

Time: 15 minutes
Serves: 2 - 3

The Brooklyn-Made Chicago-style Veggie Dog

1 pack of veggie dogs - there are usually 5
1 pack of white hot dog buns (supposed to be poppy seed buns, but I was unable to find these in Brooklyn)
bottle of yellow mustard
jar of sweet relish (I was unable to find the ultra-green sweet relish that is usually served on a Chicago-style, which is fine by me)
1 small onion, chopped
2 tomatoes, cut into 1″ thick wedges
dill pickle spears (the Li’l Sis recommends Claussens)
jar of sliced jalapenos (I dare you to find “sport peppers” in NYC. And you can use these jalapenos for many yummy dishes)
celery salt (not optional)

Cook your veggie dog your favorite way and place on a room temp bun (only steam your bun if you have a bun steamer, which is bit excessive for a Brooklyn apartment.)

Starting with the mustard, squirt it on the entire dog in a zigzag pattern. Add relish to the entire length of the dog, tucked near one side of the bun. Sprinkle with chopped onions. Add two tomato wedges on one side of the dog between the dog and the bun. Add a pickle spear on the other side of the dog between the dog and the bun. Place a few jalapeno slices according to your heat preference. Sprinkle lightly all over with celery salt.

LSLBmCsVD (Li’s Sis Loves Brooklyn-made Chicago-style Veggie Dogs) For the top photo, my food stylist (aka, the Li’l Sis - who seemed to inherit my share of the family “neat” genes) added the yellow mustard last, instead of first, for aesthetic reasons. It’s supposed to snugly blanket the dog to more greatly compliment the flavor, but I can’t apologize because it really looks better this way.

This weekend, I went back “home” to Chicagoland to chill out with my mom. Who, as a very notable side note, is an excellent cook.

In fact, Mom spearheaded two distinct phases in our family’s eating habits. (1) The “health food” stage. And (2), the “French food” stage. The health food stage featured 1980’s health classics like carob, wheat germ, and apple juice concentrate. Once a week we either had stir fry (every imaginable vegetable and legume in a tamari sauce) OR we had vegetable soup (every imaginable vegetable and legume in a tomato broth base.) Probably not the most inspired recipes (sorry mom) but she sure had us kids eating our veggies because we were big eaters and too competitive to starve. And then, sometime in my early grade school years, seemingly by a single chime of the dining room clock, the bulgur was whisked away and wine and butter glazed meats, potatoes and casseroles arrived from the kitchen, shimmering with globules of fat. We’re talking Coq au Vin, Chicken with Tarragon Cream Sauce, Filet Mignon with Sauce Béarnaise. Soufflés. Tarts. Oeufs. Pommes. And beurre, beurre, beurre.

To sum up my gustatory walk down memory lane, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m thankful for being able to experience the granolaest of granola, and the most gourmand of gourmet. Thanks Mom- you really spoiled my palate and I’m still trying to translate your French/Midwest deliciousness into healthy vegetarian recipes.

This weekend we made a backyard bbq recipe that I think is a notch or two above the veggie burger & veggie dog summer bbq choices. These skewers are interesting, easy, flexible, farmers-market friendly and tasty enough to serve to any non-vegetarians.

If you’re asking, “What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks IS halloumi?” let me answer: it’s cheese. It’s cheese that you can grill. Without melting. In fact, it gets some rather pleasant “charred” areas when barbequed. Delicious! If you want to know more, check out the halloumi wiki. Note: some brands of halloumi cheese are easier to grill than others that tend to melt a little more. If you’re new at cheese grilling, grill on a separate skewer or with fast-cooking vegetables like cherry tomatoes to test out before cooking with longer-cooking vegetables like peppers.

Serves: 5 to 6
Time: 10 – 20 minutes for each batch of skewers you can fit on the grill

Halloumi and Vegetable Skewers

20 or so ounces of halloumi cheese (can find in a well stocked supermarket or Mediterranean specialty store)
Please note the below vegetables can be substituted for others - as with all vanesscipes, this is merely a suggestion. Get whatever looks freshest and best.
2 red bell peppers
1 green pepper
2 zucchini
2 yellow squash
2 red or sweet onions
cherry tomatoes or quartered large tomatoes
thin wooden skewers

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